Love Thy Neighbor

The Islamabad housing system isn’t exactly what you would call private; in fact it is anything but “private” this is because the houses are barely apart… Yes, I mean that they basically share the same wall and sadly enough, my room is smack in the middle of it all and I bear witness to all the goings on of my “oh so lovely” neighbors.

The Nagging Banshee:

Living right behind us, this particular woman can’t seem to keep quiet. Picture yourself coming home from work, as I do nowadays, the boiling weather, the sun burning through your back while you are nature’s very own sweat device and all you want to do is spend your afternoon in the solace of your room sleeping… HAH! Not when your neighbor is a Banshee! It seems that she wants the world to know about how her mother in law treats her like dog dirt and that if her son, “Munaa” doesn’t eat his bread she will shove it up his ass. My feelings concerning her son are not so different, except it's not the cereal I want to shove up his posterior.

Munna, ah yes, her little spawn who is hell bent on depriving me from the comfort of sleep! At exactly ten at night, the peak time at when I want to get into bed and relax to a good show, preferably Saturday Night Live, the spawn of Satan makes his move. Concentrating all his power, he makes sure that this will finish me off, which is exactly what it does when he wails his lungs out. That boy has pipes which will give Adam Lambert a run for his money.

The Horse Man:

He is someone who I’ve never seen coming out of his house, my mother thinks that he’s a family man…. From the noises I hear, I’m a hundred percent sure that he’s the brothel’s number one client. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, as if the wailing banshees behind us wasn’t enough. I’m forced to endure to listen to his over stimulating sex drive *sigh* this is the reason I have dubbed him, “the Horse man.”

Characteristics of the Horse Man:

1- Due to his abnormally large libido he often has sex two to three times a day, which often involves a lot of screaming. And other sounds which renders the innocent bystander to bleed from the ears.
2- With an uncannily bad taste in music, the Horse Man often listens to musical epidemics like Atif Aslam and Ali Zafar, this is a defense mechanism used commonly by the male members of this kind to drive away other species, it is also used to render the prey temporarily deaf so that he can seize his moment and strike when the prey is least defensive.

So, what I’m trying to say is, that if you have douche bag for neighbors, don’t worry because there are poor souls out there who at this very moment (like me) want to take out their father’s shotgun from the closet and shoot their heads in, but for now, all I can do is blog about it and listen to music to block out those mind boggling noises XD